Friday, March 4, 2011

A Not Very Funny Joke About Actors and Microphones...

An Actor walks into my booth for a session and starts manhandling my microphone, after I've already set it up for him. He's never been in my studio before.
Me: So touching my mic huh?
Actor: Yeah Sorry. [Continues to move my mic around]
Me: I actually already had it set up.
Actor: I know. I just like the sound better like this [indicating he was going to make out with my microphone]
Me: Well, you really don't need to use it that way, it actually gets a little muddy, so...
Actor: [Interrupting me] I got it.
Me: [Continuing] I think we should probably put it back the way I had it.
Actor: [Agitated] I said I GOT it.
Me: [Not really up for the confrontation] Fine...

At this point the ISDN clicks in and I step over to the computer and mixer to get us set up.
ISDN Client: Hey guys. Let's get a level set.
Actor: [Loudly while practically fellating my mic] Of Course! [Gets about two lines into the copy before...]
ISDN Client: Whoa... OK.. Um... We're going to need the actor to back WAY off the microphone...
What sucks though, is this really just makes me look bad, like I didn't set the mic properly in the first place, which in a way is kinda true. My only saving grace was that the actor was equally argumentative with the producers over direction, so I'm sure he distracted them from any technical concerns that might've been linked with me.

As it stands though, I've added yet another actor to the "Will never call in for casting, or work with ever again" list...


  1. Easily grounds for justifiable homicide. No judge would convict you.

    Any time a talent touches the mic in-studio that is basically saying, "I know I am here as an actor but I am also a trained audio engineer and I disagree with the way you run things in your own house."


  2. Does this guy get work very often? If so, I'm surprised.

  3. @ Erik - Sucks. There is NO satisfactory outcome to that kind of altercation. I pretty much look bad to the people who count not matter what I do...

    @ Bob - I didn't know who this guy was. Doesn't mean he isn't booking up a storm, but he wasn't on my radar. I'll make sure to NOT work with him in the future if I can help it though...

  4. Ugh! You need a giant "Actors Who Touch Microphones will be Sacrificed to Rabid Squirrels" sign. But by the sound of it, this one would have picked a fight with the squirrels, too.

  5. @ Dana LOL!
    Yeah. I'm pretty sure he would've. I used to have a sign up that simply said "please do not touch our microphones", but it would largely go ignored from the newbies.

    Once had a guy read it out loud absentmindedly WHILE adjusting the mic. The director on that session tore into him RUTHLESSLY. My fave dig was:
    "This does not bode well for your ability to take direction..."

  6. I don't ever touch the mic. Those are your 'private parts'.

  7. Damn it Mercedes!
    That would've made the joke FUNNY!